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When picking which body-safe material to opt for, you should consider how you’re going to be using it and the sensations you like. "Silicone is going to be a bit softer and have a little give to it, whereas steel, glass, and ABS plastic are going to be very firm," says Lehmiller. There are thousands of anal toys available in all sizes, shapes, colors, and textures.

The best models are usually curved and feature vibrating or manual stimulation options. Our sex life has been good but has become less and less frequent as the kids have gotten older. Ninety-nine times out of 100 I am the initiator because I have the more active libido. I’ve suggested we schedule sex but she says that feels like too much pressure. I’ve recommended we try to find time when it’s just the two of us (meeting back at the house during a lunch break while the kids are at school) but she doesn’t like the idea of us going back out into the world after sex.

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