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For this article, I picked the cream of the crop in the $150-plus range, and also asked some experts about their fave high-end toys to round out the story. Another form of sex toys for both men and women are those for erotic electrostimulation. Erotic electrostimulation refers to the act of using electricity for sexual stimulation.

There are plenty of other sex toys you can put your penis into to masturbate. Like the name suggests, you pop it in and keep it there, like a plug. Butt plugs aren’t designed to hit one specific spot, the way prostate massagers are—they're great for generally stimulating the anus and rectum and delivering that satisfying sensation of "fullness." A dildo is a non-vibrating phallic-shaped toy designed for penetration.

My hips were useless at providing any level of thrust at the angle they were asked. The instructional website the company provides says that once the Balldo is inserted, "light thrusting" is possible, which, as marketing overstatements go, is right up there with Red Bull promising the power of flight. You see—and I am addressing the creators of the Balldo when I say "you" here—inserting any kind of phallus into any kind of orifice requires some amount of force or leverage. We use our hips, our core, our arms, etc. to provide the force necessary to perform the penetrative sex that the Balldo is so hyperfixated on. It was fascinating to hold the Balldo in my hand and feel not excitement or even curiosity, but an intellectual challenge.

FirmTech is designed for people with penises who want to stay firm. For more advice, seek online help from one of the more reputable sites, such as goodvibes.com, loverspackage.com or evesgarden.com. The ring has a gently expanding band that fits around the base of the penis